The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
Date read: March 23 to 30, 2020
Location: beginning of statewide lockdown

A lovely book and wonderful read. I’d recommend this one to anyone looking for a good laugh.

Just about everything about this book is endearing, and just looking at the cover art immediately takes me back to the story inside.

This book was what I needed this week, a bit of sunny breezy brightness to get my mind off of… things. I had needed something light and engaging to keep me going and keep me from thinking too much about… things. This book was the only entertainment that had the ability to take me out of that circular head-space and into a story in which not much happens. It’s set in a world similar to our own starring a cast of interesting characters with strange abilities and unique personalities, and it’s a memorable story, one that I’m certain I’ll return to for years to come whenever I need to escape a certain head-space.

I think this book can be best summed up as having the delightful weirdness of the podcast Welcome to Night Vale, the saturated brightness of  the TV show Pushing Daisies, and the charming narration of the Lemony Snicket book series. It’s all of my favorite flavors of weird and quirky rolled into one book, and the story unfolds with the funniest narration I’ve read in awhile. Real, laugh out loud moments were had with this book.

There’s an ease and comfort to settling into a story in which you know no one will die, nothing terrible will happen to any of the characters, and a happy ending is guaranteed. Low-stakes are what these trying times call for, yeah? One slight downside to this is there isn’t much of a plot here, but that’s okay because it’s character-driven and the characters are alive and real and full of wisecracks.

We first meet Linus Baker–a sweet, lonely, middle-aged, rule-abiding, and nearly invisible government social worker–at work. He’s employed by the Department in Charge of Magical Youths (DICOMY) and his job is to visit orphanages that house magical children to evaluate their abilities to care for these children.

Linus lives a quiet life that consists of his work, his small house, and his finicky cat. It’s all he knows and all he ever wanted. That is until he’s sent on a top secret assignment to evaluate an orphanage unlike any anyone has ever seen before.

The Marsyas Orphanage is located on Marsyas Island off the coast of a little seaside resort town, and in it lives the master of the house, Arthur Parnassus, who is kind but weary of all things government, especially social workers. On the island, there also lives the island sprite, Zoe Chapelwhite, who helps to look after the children. And the children are more special than the average special super-powered child. In no particular order:

• Lucy, short for Lucifer–six years old, the antichrist, wicked sense of humor, likes to make threats for fun
• Talia–two-hundred-something years old gnome, bearded, expert gardener, likes to hit people with her shovel and bury them in her garden (although that rarely ever happens)
• Chauncey–green amorphous blob, has eyes on stalks on top of his head, wants to be a bellhop when he grows up
• Phee–young forest sprite, distant, standoffish, has the power to make plants grow
• Sal–extremely shy teenage boy who turns into a Pomeranian when scared or startled
• Theodore–a wyvern who speaks in chirps, has a secret hoard of treasure (and buttons) under the couch

Together the inhabitants of the island are a quirky, unorthodox found-family who care for one another and keep mostly to themselves. The biggest obstacle to their existence, other than government officials sent by DICOMY to check up on them, is the seaside townsfolk who are sometimes weary and other times hostile toward magical beings in general.

Linus, with his cat in tow, comes to the island and orphanage with the purpose of evaluating and reporting on Arthur’s fitness as guardian for these special magical children, but gradually over the course of a few weeks, he loses his rigid DICOMY mindset and is charmed by the island and its inhabitants. He even helps them reconnect with the town, although some bigots will always remain bigots no matter what.

Before he realizes it, Linus becomes enamored by the children and their guardian, and shortly thereafter, he begins to fall for Arthur. It isn’t all happily ever after from this point, as there are a few bumps in the plot to keep things moving along, but the story does end on a happy note.

I realize I’m making this book sound super sappy and precious, and it’s not. There are precious moments within because of the nature of the story (it’s about orphaned children–it couldn’t be helped, really), but they are few and outnumbered by a bunch of laugh out loud ones. I’ll stick a few moments here without context just for fun.

“Think of this as a promotion, Mr. Baker. One that I believe is a long time in coming.”

“Don’t I have a say in this?”

“Think of this as a mandatory promotion.”

[…]

“Are you Mr. Baker? If you are, we’ve been expecting you. If not, you’re trespassing, and you should leave before I bury you here in my garden. No one would ever know because the roots would eat your entrails and bones.” She frowned again. “I think. I’ve never buried anyone before. It would be a learning experience for the both of us.”

[…]

“You don’t know him. You don’t know us. You have files, but they only tell you the basics, I’m sure. Mr. Baker, what’s written in those files are nothing but bones, and we are more than just our bones, are we not?” He paused, considering. “Except for Chauncey, seeing as how he doesn’t actually have any bones. Though my point remains the same.”

[…]

I haven’t seen Lucy’s room. I haven’t asked. He has offered many times; once, he cornered me and whispered that I wouldn’t believe my eyes, but I don’t think I’m ready to see it yet. I will make sure to view it before I leave. If it is the last thing I do, my last will and testament has been filed with Human Resources. If enough of my remains exist, please see that they are cremated.

[…]

Besides, it was a perfectly lovely day. Perhaps it would do him some good to be outside in all this sunshine. Ten minutes later, he wished for death.

[…]

“You know, for a leader, you seem to delegate more than actually lead,” Linus said dryly.

Lucy shrugged. “I’m six years old. Well, this body is. Mostly, I’m ancient, but that’s neither here nor there.”

[…]

“You look fine,” Linus said. “Dashing even.”

“Like a spy hidden in the shadows about to reveal a big secret,” Sal told him.

“Or like he’s going to open his coat and flash us,” Talia muttered.

“Hey! I wouldn’t do that! Only if you asked!”

[…]

This isn’t simply an orphanage. It is a house of healing, and one that I think is necessary.

The dialogue and narration are easily the highlights of this book, and the built-in humor is the author’s specialty.

Around this time last year, someone I came across briefly on twitter recommended TJ Klune to me on a recommendation thread and said I should give The Bones Beneath My Skin a try. Normally, I’d ignore random people’s recommendations of authors I’d never heard of–they’re almost always self-published authors pushing their own books at everyone they come across–but this was different. There was something about the title of this book that made me look it up, and the blurb made me give it a try. It only took a few chapters in for me to realize that TJ Klune was damn good writer. Bones became one of the best books I’d read last year. So thank you, random person on twitter who pushed the right book at me at the right time and introduced me to a new favorite author.